Dear Fellow Seeker,
I suspect we are on similar paths.
I am guessing that since you were young, you had a sense of your special gifts, but for a variety of reasons, you’ve held back. Maybe you were scared of outshining others; maybe your brilliance made some people resentful; maybe it seemed the world didn’t appreciate, need or want what you uniquely had to offer. Maybe it has been so long that you’ve shared these special gifts, you wonder if they are even still there.
You probably have found ways to use your gifts to certain success over the years, but still feel like there’s a part of you that’s been locked away and hasn’t had a chance yet to truly shine.
From a very young age, I had a deep instinctual sense of human beings’ untapped magnificence. I knew for myself and I knew that for most people, there was a capacity for great creativity, connection, and compassion that somehow wasn’t being expressed hardly at all in our everyday lives.
A lot of the precious insight, wisdom, and awareness I had as a child was re-defined, re-packaged, or simply denied, as I adapted to the adult world. Until one day, I reached a point where it was time to stop lying to myself.
Have you reached that moment? Are you tired of waiting for the world to let you in? Are you tired of living a life that isn’t fully you? Are you ready to reclaim your life?
I sure was. It was scary and awesome and I am so thankful for the incredible teachers, coaches, and mentors that supported me along the way. Reclaiming my life started while training to be a professional coach, and now 5 years later, after supporting hundreds of others in my coaching practice, I recognize three essential phases of personal transformation.
1. The first thing I learned to do was RELEASE. Through some empowering coaching, I noticed all the stories I was telling myself about how I was “supposed” to be that were holding me back. Some of my “supposed to be’s” included; “You aren’t supposed to be in an unequal relationship with a man – you are a feminist!” “You aren’t supposed to want material possessions, you are supposed to be “above” that!” “You don’t have any reason to feel pain – look how good you have it!” It took me a while to even admit that these “supposed to be’s” were there – but once I did…letting them go felt like a MAJOR weight lifted.
2. Secondly, (and this was hard for me), I had to learn to take myself WAY less seriously. I had to learn to PLAY. I had to learn to accept that I couldn’t think myself out of my pain or confusion. I couldn’t “figure it out”. I had to turn off my logical problem solving brain and just BE. Feel my feelings. Mourn the losses. Give myself a f___ing break! And admit – YES, I wanted to be happy, I wanted to be free, I wanted ease, I wanted joy! And that actually – suffering isn’t all it is cracked up to be. This playful stance is a spiritual stance. Once I embraced a lighter attitude, I was able to receive messages the universe had for me. I was able to feel inspired and creative again.
3. Finally, I had to learn a new way to LOVE. A coach asked me at a critical moment of my journey – how can you be in a loving relationship with all parts of yourself? Alarms went off! First – at the time it sounded super cheezy! Second, I went on a rampage of self-defense; “But I want to learn and grow and IMPROVE! I don’t want to be lazy about this – I have THICK SKIN – I can take it!” (The “it” being all the self-bashing my inner critic did to me, that I was absolutely 100% convinced was what was needed to improve). I had to completely switch my mindset and accept that being in a loving relationship with myself (including all my flaws and shortcomings) was actually much more productive than beating myself up. AND – being in a loving relationship with my brilliance was actually ok too.
Rebecca Aced-Molina is a certified professional coach who supports her clients to release, play and love through intensive journeys within and abroad. http://www.rebecca-acedmolina.com/